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  CONVERSATION

  How to Communicate Better and Boost Your People Relations

  ©Copyright 2019 by R.S. Richardson- All rights reserved.

  This eBook is provided with the sole purpose of providing relevant information on a specific topic for which every reasonable effort has been made to ensure that it is both accurate and reasonable. Nevertheless, by purchasing this eBook, you consent to the fact that the author, as well as the publisher, are in no way experts on the topics contained herein, regardless of any claims as such that may be made within. As such, any suggestions or recommendations that are made within are done so purely for entertainment value. It is recommended that you always consult a professional prior to undertaking any of the advice or techniques discussed within.

  This is a legally binding declaration that is considered both valid and fair by both the Committee of Publishers Association and the American Bar Association and should be considered as legally binding within the United States.

  The reproduction, transmission, and duplication of any of the content found herein, including any specific or extended information will be done as an illegal act regardless of the end form the information ultimately takes. This includes copied versions of the work, physical, digital, and audio unless express consent of the Publisher is provided beforehand. Any additional rights reserved.

  Furthermore, the information that can be found within the pages described forthwith shall be considered both accurate and truthful when it comes to the recounting of facts. As such, any use, correct or incorrect, of the provided information will render the Publisher free of responsibility as to the actions taken outside of their direct purview. Regardless, there are zero scenarios where the original author or the Publisher can be deemed liable in any fashion for any damages or hardships that may result from any of the information discussed herein.

  Additionally, the information in the following pages is intended only for informational purposes and should thus be thought of as universal. As befitting its nature, it is presented without assurance regarding its prolonged validity or interim quality. Trademarks that are mentioned are done without written consent and can, in no way, be considered an endorsement from the trademark holder.

  CONTENTS

  Introduction

  Chapter 1: Verbal Communication

  Chapter 2: Nonverbal and Interpersonal Communication

  Communicating a Message to Others

  Reading Others’ Nonverbal Messages

  Chapter 3: Written Communication

  The Basics of Healthy Written Communication

  How to Write Good Text Messages

  Chapter 4: Formal and Informal Communication

  All About Formal Communication

  Informal Communication Methods

  Chapter 5: Visual Communication

  Visual Communication: Who, Where, and Why

  Visual Communication Through Advertisement

  Chapter 6: Public Speaking

  The Basics of a Good Speech

  How to Make a Speech

  Rhetoric

  Drama and Emotion

  Chapter 7: Making Your Interpersonal Communication More Effective

  Saying What You Mean

  Politeness and Consideration

  Chapter 8: Navigating Personal Relationships for Happiness and Harmony

  How to Talk to Family and Spouses

  Communicating With Your Children

  Ingredient 1: Teaching Your Child

  Ingredient 2: Discipline

  Ingredient 3: Love

  Introduction

  C ongratulations on downloading “Conversation,” and thank you for giving this book a chance to educate you on how to connect better with others. Despite how vital it is to all relationships, communication is a skill that confuses many people. A lack of communication often leads to the breakdown of friendships and familial ties, despite all parties’ good intentions. Knowing how to communicate better has the potential to transform your life and help you better relate to others and solve conflict effectively. From the workplace to the dinner table, from simple chats to Thanksgiving dinners, effectively expressing yourself and dealing compassionately with others is the key to a healthy life and emotional well-being.

  This book seeks to pass on a wealth of information on how to engage in health back-and-forth with others and connect with them effectively. Inside, you will find tips on body language, conversation, public speaking, conflict resolution, and so much more. These skills will help make friends and gain promotions at work by building positive relationships while maintaining healthy boundaries. The study of human connection is vast—it spans from sexual relationships to simple exchanges between strangers making brief eye contact. Knowing how to handle any situation involving another human being can ease social anxiety and help you develop the empathy and decency necessary for maintaining positive relationships and fostering loving relationships. The objective of this book is that you walk away from this book feeling adequately prepared to talk and cooperate with just about anyone.

  Most people understand, to some degree or another, that communication is the heartbeat of any relationship. Relationships, by definition, require at least two parties to engage in some kind of exchange of information. Even eye contact constitutes a form of communication. There are, however, some good and bad ways of expressing oneself. Knowing the effective methods of speaking your truth for a given situation can set your course of action and allows you to cultivate your relationships with other people to their fullest potentials. Reading “Conversation” can help you fortify your bonds with others, ensuring that you act with care, compassion, and insight.

  Ineffective communication can lead to isolation and loneliness. These conditions are associated with outcomes such as higher smoking rates, obesity, high blood pressure, and early mortality. Loneliness is bad for your health. Happiness and love are all we really have in life, after all. Knowing how to act on this principle in order to foster loving relationships in life increases the likelihood of surviving and coping with what life throws at you no matter what the circumstances are.

  Healthy communication is a cornerstone of self-confidence, friendships, romantic partnerships, and familial ties. Understanding how to express your ideas and personality to others will aid you in reaching your professional and personal goals. This book includes tips on:

  Public speaking to keep your audience engaged and entertained

  Conflict resolution to keep you calm and reach satisfying solutions

  Communicating with your children to discipline them without sacrificing displays of love and affection

  Body language to take your communication with others to the next level

  Communicating in the workplace to increase your likelihood of a promotion or a raise while also making friends at the water cooler

  And so much more!

  Chapter 1: Verbal Communication

  M ost of the time, when we hear “verbal communication,” we imagine giving a presentation at work or politely negotiating a dispute with a spouse or friend. Verbal communication is the sharing of ideas between individuals through the medium of speech. Even if an instance of verbal communication includes only one person speaking, it is necessarily a two-way process. It requires one party to express their ideas in spoken word and another to listen and absorb them.

  There are over 5,000 languages spoken around the world today, but they can be classified into less than twenty families. The low number of categories is a function region—older languages often evolved and changed into other languages in neighboring civilizations, resulting in different villages and cities speaking distinct dialects of the same language or different languages with a common origin. An example of this process can be seen in the anc
ient Roman language of Latin. Latin was spoken by the ancient Romans but evolved into languages such as French, Italian, Spanish, and Romanian. Although it was still used by the Catholic Church throughout the last millennium and in the present day, it is no longer considered a commonly spoken language. It has been immortalized by many of the languages spoken in Europe today. They are called the Romance languages.

  The origin of human speech has been a spectacularly difficult topic to study. Spoken word, for the most part, leaves no distinct archaeological records. It is ephemeral and exists as a nearly instantaneous expression of culture and region—a disappearing artifact, per se. Some experts believe language coevolved with tool-making, implying that verbal communication can be a human ability that is 1.75 million years old. This assertion is hotly debated, but most anthropologists believe that the human beings possessed language fifty thousand years ago at the latest. Neuroscience approaches the problem from a different angle, by asking how many years ago the structures allowing for language evolved in humans. Some geneticists believe that a specific gene, FOXP2, is the specific area of our DNA which sets us apart from other species and gives us the gift of complicated language.

  Regardless of the question of when human beings developed verbal communication and language, it has proven to be another hallmark of human achievement. While other species may have the ability to gurgle and yelp to show distress, attraction, and safety, only humans have such a diverse and precise way of using vocalizations to communicate. Unlike other animals, we can give instructions, describe situations, and tell stories. Language has allowed us to develop culture and express abstract concepts.

  There are four types of verbal communication; they are intrapersonal communication, interpersonal communication, small-group communication, and public speaking. Intrapersonal communication is a communicator's internal use of language in their thoughts. The mind of the communicator produces and sends the thoughts, and it is its own receiver of the communication as well. Intrapersonal communication is best exemplified by the arguments and decision-making processes we frequently experience. For example, when you nervously wonder whether to ask someone on a date, you probably create a feedback loop within yourself. “Should I do it?” You think—“Yeah, go for it; it seems like she likes you.”—“Wait, don’t. Maybe she doesn’t really like you.” Intrapersonal communication is possibly the most important form of communication available to humans. It allows us to understand our own emotions explicitly and process incoming information, so we can reproduce it for others or put it to use for ourselves.

  Stepping just outside of ourselves, interpersonal verbal communication is the second-most intimate form of verbal communication. Interpersonal verbal communication is verbal communication between two people through speech. The communicator sends a message to the receiver, who will then respond to the content of the communicator’s message. When this happens over and over again in one instance, it is a conversation. Interpersonal verbal communication is the bedrock upon which friendships and other close relationships are built. Almost all romantic relationships and friendships, for example, start with an introduction. When one meets his or her future employer, the process of creating an employee-boss relationship starts with an interview. It is the most basic building block of transferring specific information from one human to another.

  Zooming out a bit more, the next form of interpersonal verbal communication is small group communication. Small group communication occurs between members who are all in a small group together. When communication occurs in a small group, a communicator verbally expresses a message, and the other group members receive it and respond to it. Upon reception, multiple group members may respond and bounce ideas off each other. Small-group communication is frequent a domain of funny conversations and innovations at workplaces—multiple people communicating simultaneously is a breeding ground for the creation, development, and improvement of new ideas.

  Public speaking is the least intimate form of verbal communication, but it possibly the most likely to deliver a compelling, entertainment message. The formal study of public speaking began almost 2500 years ago in ancient Greece and Rome. Scholars such as Aristotle and Cicero were trained in this art and refined it themselves in their philosophical works. At its best, public speaking disseminates information and ideas to a large group of people concisely, with words and phrases chosen to instill a clear message that an audience member will remember when they go home. It is often meant to be persuasive and even emotional sometimes.

  Verbal communication is often the mode of the most meaningful messages a person can receive, and it is still the most effective way two people can exchange ideas among themselves. It is still so useful, despite the convenience and ease of email and text message, because it is still the easiest form of communication in which to form an agreement. This is possible because it enables and prompts quick feedback from the party receiving the message. In a conversation, the person who receives the message must respond relatively quickly because they cannot leave the communicator waiting on a reply four hours or days, unlike in a text-message conversation.

  Verbal communication also allows for clarification and negotiation. When a communicator sends a message, and it is not clear, verbal communication allows for the receiver of the message to ask a question and for the communicator to receive it and clarify. It is also much easier for people to connect emotionally through verbal communication, as conversations are almost always more than just words. In verbal communication, body language, eye contact, and facial expressions can add or take away from the communicator’s message. It allows feedback and empathy between parties, which are normally inhibited over text message or email.

  Spoken communication is generally the mode of communication that is most healthy for human beings. Although keeping up with friends and family through other modes is pleasant and useful, face time with other human beings is essential for a healthy mind. It enhances trust between two individuals, and the accompanying body language is key for a feeling of love and belonging. Without face time and verbal communication with others, someone may become lonely. Chronic loneliness has been known to increase an individual’s likelihood of illness and has been correlated with a shortened lifespan.

  Although verbal communication is often the clearest and most efficient form of communication, it may have drawbacks sometimes. For one thing, verbal communication is almost never legally binding. If someone makes a promise or business agreement verbally, but it is not in a written and signed contract, there is no way to hold the responsible party accountable. In addition, verbal communication makes hiding emotion fairly difficult. Perhaps a message needs to be delivered neutrally and objectively, but because human beings always have opinions and inclinations, a message may be delivered with some slant. In addition, the interpretation of a verbal message may be very culture-specific—what may be considered acceptable speech in one area may be considered offensive or rude in another.

  Although verbal communication may seem like it is on a decline because of the advents of social media, email, and text message, it still retains its fundamental quality of importance in human connection. Therefore, good verbal communication skills are essential for healthy relationships and effective communication. Developing good verbal communication skills can lead to more satisfying relationships and an easier, more productive professional life. A few tips may help with this journey to becoming a better communicator.

  One of the most general concepts of good verbal communication is respect and politeness. As a communicator, it is important to make eye contact with the receiver(s) of the message. Eye contact makes others feel as though they are being attended to and acknowledged. Assertiveness is also important. Assertiveness is not only about delivering a clear message but also about delivering a message with a healthy communication style. Using a passive-aggressive style may result in hurt feelings of a friend, partner, or family member or may signal disrespect to an employer. Aggression is also a
verbal communication tactic to avoid. Expressing anger or using intimidation often undermines whatever the goal of the exchange is. When aggression is brought into an exchange, the receiving party may often feel frightened or manipulated. On the flipside, passivity is also a no-go. If a communicator passively verbalizes a message, they may not get their point across. While a communicator may believe his or her own passivity to be polite and deferent, it may, in fact, obscure the intended message or result in an unproductive interaction. Clearly, assertiveness is the best way to go about communicating a message.

  Assertiveness is a tricky but important communication style to grasp. An assertive communication gets the communicator’s message across while also inviting others to do so. In addition, assertion requires that the communicator maintains emotional control; an assertive communicator will express anger by saying, “I do not think what you said was respectful, and it upsets me. I don’t appreciate that,” instead of expressing rage or vitriol in the face of disrespect. A good rule of thumb to evaluate whether your communication is assertive is to ask yourself, “Am I being levelheaded, collected, and respectful while still getting my point across directly?” If the answer to this question is yes, then you are on your way to expressing a message assertively.

  Another tip for effective verbal communication is to be honest. While this may sound like an obvious component of a positive verbal exchange, it is, in fact, nuanced; being direct can be more difficult than it seems. While honesty is simply opposed to lying, it falls under the general umbrella of directness. One way to be more honest in verbal communication is to express your skills accurately. Tell someone when you need help with a project or endeavor and also when you are competent or have a specific skill that may be useful. Another crucial component of honest interaction is to express your feelings. Having an honest intrapersonal communication with yourself about how you feel allows you to understand your own emotions and work through decision-making and emotional difficulties.